Monthly Archives: May 2009

Why I’m cooler than Ahmadinejad

I just happened across a blog by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Seriously. I think it’s the real deal. It uses an Iranian domain name that is controlled by his government. I like the thought of him ranting “Death to the infidels, death to the, oh, excuse me, I really have to comment on this viral video of Christian the Lion.”

It did make me feel better about not blogging all this week when I had an awful cold. Ahmadinejad hasn’t blogged since December 2007 (and only twice in 2007). He writes that he still spends 15 minutes per week on the blog, but chooses to spend the time reading comments. To be fair, the madman at least doesn’t censor critics. Some (certainly a minority) of comments are negative, such as this interesting French screed that made the site, deflating the writer’s argument: “I see that you choose only what you like; this is very curios (SIC) to see how much you love yourself and how much you think that people are stupid to believe that you never receive any critics.”

An American writer’s succinct critique also made the blog: “People like you take the world back to darkness instead of bringing it forward to PEACE.”

So he’s still nutty, but he at least has a forum for publicly telling him just how nutty.

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I love you, Wilco. I hate you, Wilco fans

To paraphrase my niece, “I love you, Wilco” (on spring break in Colorado, she said “I love you snowman” as she sledded precariously close to her cold white creation).

But all you bandwagon Wilco fans need to back off. I need to hear the new album. I earned it. I have seen them 15 times (I think) and have manically hyped the band to one and all since “A.M.” So get off their server and free up space so I can listen to the free Wilco stream. I know most of you are at the office or should be in class. Point is, you have better things to do than sit around listening to the free Wilco stream. I’m trying to get over a cold and I can barely function or concentrate today, so I really don’t have anything better to do. Continue reading

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Kids say the most creative things

Quote of the weekend:

“Yeah, and when she becomes a boy, she’ll be Owen.”

— A 2-year-old’s response to the news that she had a baby sister named Emily. Before the birth, she was repeatedly told she would either have a brother named Owen or a sister named Emily.

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White House meets with Elmo, Stuart Smalley

That’s an Elmo made of flowers for the Rose Bowl parade. It’s pretty cool, but not as cool as Michelle Obama.

I’m kind of jealous of the first lady. I certainly couldn’t handle the constant scrutiny of my wardrobe (I’m currently wearing both a shirt and shorts that are splattered with paint, caulk and wood glue). But she gets lots of help on her vegetable garden (no pesticides, lots of kids planting stuff. I’m there). And now she got to star on Sesame Street. It hasn’t aired yet, but she was quoted telling some United Nations employees about the taped appearance.

“I never thought I’d be on Sesame Street with Elmo and Big Bird, and I was thrilled.  I’m still thrilled.  I’m on a high. I think it’s probably the best thing I’ve done so far in the White House.”

I know, I know, we all need to get past the Al Franken jokes. If the Minnesota Supreme Court ever lets the state have its deserved federal representation, Franken will be a powerful member of the senate. He will make important decisions. They need to be taken seriously no matter how many SNL flashbacks he invokes.

But seriously, look at this picture and tell me it doesn’t look like Joe Biden is getting an uplifting therapy session with Stuart Smalley.

Smalley: “It’s OK if you said some really stupid things about the swine flu. Doggone it, people voted for you.”

Finally, I love the false modesty of the White House blog. Yesterday, the nameless, faceless blogger wrote “Today the President’s schedule was virtually clear except for three pivotal meetings with leaders from two pivotal countries.”

That’s right, Obama was shooting hoops most of the day — except when he was shooting the breeze with the leaders of Afghanistan and Pakistan. One country is the administration’s main military focus and arguably the world’s most dangerous breeding ground for terrorists. The other is a potentially failed state that represents the administration’s most serious current problem (at least according to Fareed Zakaria, but who can argue with Fareed Zakaria).

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Give for my friend

I think the hardest part of those charity fund-raising races is asking friends and family for money (OK, so I’ve only done “walks,” so a triathlon may actually be the hardest part).

Anyhow, it’s definitely easier to ask on a friend’s behalf. I hope some of my hundreds of readers (each number on those WordPress stats represent 100, right?) consider contributing to my friend’s MS Bike Tour.

MS is a really scary disease because there is no cure and a frightening number of unknowns. You can be diagnosed, feel no symptoms for 20 years and suddenly be paralyzed.

His name is Justinian (how cool is that?), he is a great friend and he’s really good looking (people say he looks like me, so he’s pratically Brad Pitt), and you can donate here.

OK, sorry for all the stupid asides. Please give. Here’s more about the research funded by the ride. Thank you.

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Did Cookie Monster crash the economy?

I’m starting to wonder if Internet jokesters are also partly responsible for crashing the economy. The number of American work hours and the number of wacky Internet videos don’t add up. Sites such as Stereogum are full of posts plainly admitting they are using work time to watch Internet videos and post stories about indie rock bands. In turn, folks making the same videos are likely goofing off on their own jobs, like whoever made this hilarious Cookie Monster-Jay Z mashup.

Of course, maybe these jokers are goofing off at banking jobs, which left them less time to sell those “exotic financial instruments” that really did crash the economy.

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